The Truth

May 14, 2006

Looking back at my last few posts, it’s worth noting that they’re lies, of a sort. I wrote a bunch of posts in the last couple of weeks and have them all saved as drafts, waiting to be published whenever I don’t have time to write new ones. This past week I’ve published a few of them from this backlog, just to keep activity on the site as part of my Frequency Not Depth program(me).

What’s funny is that my insomnia all but vanished on Tuesday, so the post about Dr. Carter’s sleep advice, for example, didn’t have much relationship to the truth at the time. I spent most of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday asleep or unconscious. I’m not clear if I have an actual, physical ailment at all (though I guess the migraines I had, that turned light into searing fire in my brain, do qualify) or just some sort of biochemical crash. I’m checking with a doctor just to be sure.

This weekend, as I rush to get 30 hours of work squeezed into 50 or so hours, has been like climbing up from underground. It’s a beautiful day outside, but I’m in here going through the week’s emails. I feel like I’m sitting at the mouth of a deep cave, where sometimes I wake up deep in the earth with no idea how I got there. Tomorrow, though, I’m going out into the sun, all the way. I’m running. I’m lifting weights.

When the monster drags me back into the cave again, I’m going to have the strength to get out there.

Noise: The Veils, “More Heat Than Light”


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