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June 12, 2004

Did You Mean “Huge?”
Hugh Jackman sent me spam porn. Fortunately I got it at work on the Mac, where I can use the preview pane in iApple eMail pRogram and get the funniest part of it. The email reads: “This message intends for adults only. You must be 18 to scroll down.”

Wait just a fucking minute, Hugh. What the hell is that? You can’t send me a picture of a naked lady via US mail and then put it on me to regulate your material for you, and you can’t do it through email either. I’m not gonna be responsible for your shit. How about I call you up on the phone and say, “I’m about to tell you something classified by the NSA, so if you don’t have code-word clearance you’d better hang up or you’re gonna be guilty of leaking state secrets.”

Also, frankly, I’m not sure I understand why you’re using Hugh Jackman’s name to get through spam filters. I mean, my software might buy it, but the spam filter in my brain’s gonna figure it out, you know? I’ve never once receive mail from a Broadway star that didn’t turn out to be about sex.

In Other News…
Turns out humongous isn’t a word. It’s slang. You know what the root of humongous is? Neither does the dictionary. It says “Perhaps blend of huge, and monstrous or tremendous.” That’s the same as “I dunno, maybe huge? Yeah, maybe huge and… is mungus a word?”

I love the word humongous. I love that it comes from us, the peasants. I love that it came into use just because it sounds like it should mean “fucking huge.” That’s cool as all get up.

Today, humongous. Tomorrow, ginormous.

Noise: Frou Frou, “Let Go”

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