May 19, 2004

Evil Index
(This is an unfinished concept that I probably won’t come back to because I’m not business-savvy enough to pull it off, so I’m just posting it now.)

It seems the profit margin is the golden idol at the heart of the businessman’s temple; everything’s built around it. Many educated, successful businesspeople are able to understand price indeces, economies of scale, profit margins, stock markets, and interest rates, but unable to grok basic ethics. So, I submit that we need to quantify unethical practices into a measurable factor that can be charted, reported on each quarter, and given exclusive jargon–because high-powered business-types won’t hire common-sense ideas unless they wear Armani suits to the interview.

The evil index is a chart indicating the price and scale of evil behavior necessary to produce a certain product or generate a certain profit margin over time. If Company A is performing more evil acts than necessary to produce desired results, they’ll know by consulting the evil index. Better, Company A can compare how evil Company B has to be to earn a similar result, and so see if they’re overpaying in evil practices.

The convict margin is the ratio gross prison sentence divided by years in business. Note that this is not sentences served, but projected sentences for any given acts, assuming capture, conviction, and average sentencing.

Health difference is the sum of top-three tier executive salaries minus employee debts stemming from necessary hospital visits and necessary medical costs.


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