Three Things That Weren't Related When I Sat Down to Write About Them, But It Turns Out They Are

Re: Lost
I'm telling you, the Desmond currently on the show is from the bloody future, brother. He is not having visions.

Re: The Sixth Sense
The Sixth Sense is fucking bullshit, and I'll tell you why: Nobody in the whole damn movie has a sixth sense. The little kid has a form of the second sight, but that is not a sixth sense. Here's the key statement that reveals Shyamalan doesn't know what he's talking about: “I see dead people.” Sight is one of the five senses, you daft schmuck. You sense things we can't, but you do it using one of the same five senses we have. I mean, shit.

In Other News…
I think I may write a story about a guy who can smell the future.

Six-Word Stories

You've seen this one doing the rounds on the internet. Tell a story in six words. Apparently it got started by this thing in Wired. (I haven't read the newest issue yet.) Over lunch, I decided to play:

“Marry me. …Jane?” “I heard you.”
“I'm innocent, lover.” He believed her.
“Plea?” “No.” “Plea.” “Fuck you.” “Beg.”
He looked at her like that.
They're here. They're invisible. I'm sure.
Help me move this body, Andy.
Sorry to say, but, you died.
Asshole, don't mean nothing by it.
Suffer, weep, lament. Pursue, kill, regret.

This one's for you, Internet:
OMG, Betty, WTF? Weak, noob, ROFLMAO.

Special Geek Movie Edition:
There are snakes on this plane.
I see dead people, but shhh.
Marla, say my name. Tyler Durden!
You can dream, Newt. Also, die.
Get away from her, you bitch!
Rosebud? What the fuck is that?
All worlds are yours, except Europa.
Two men enter, one man leaves.